Sunday, July 05, 2015

newfound distance


Allow me to be sad just a little.

You know that feeling when you are half hoping that that someone will call your name when you come over and treat you the way he always does, but then one day you realise that it won't happen anymore, that the room he used to occupy is already vacant, that he won't ask you to feed him anymore, that he won't repeat his stories to you anymore. And when you kiss him one last time, you wish that it was your lips that are cold and not his skin.

I had hoped that it would be like that one time when he fainted and later when he woke up at the hospital he casually joked as if him fainting was nothing serious and I just stood there crying and scolding him for making me worry and the nurses didn't make me leave even though I wasn't supposed to be there.

But his skin was so cold and he didn't move at all and I have to accept this.

When I was a little girl my ambition was to be a doctor. I told him that I would give him meds for free and he wouldn't be sick. I remember he said he wanted to see me graduate from university. I've only been here for a month though? haha.

Al Fatihah to my grandfather and to all of our dearest who had left to His side.

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