Saturday, August 15, 2015

my entire universe is you


Ugh, writing it here doesn't feel good and I know I'm just driven by hormones (feels nice to blame them) but I am never good at keeping my feelings to myself in the first place and at the same time I don't want to tell anyone about it because they all make it sound like it's nothing, like the weight of my doubts are nothing but specks of dust to them because those things that are bringing me down never fcking cross their pretty heads.

I'm not being fair, I know they think the same thing as I do sometimes. But at the end of day they can always shrug it off, they don't carry it until the moment they fall asleep, they don't think about it first thing in the morning when they wake up. They have everything really easy and they have everyone's approval too. But I'm just rotting at the corner hoping that invisibility is something more than a damn fiction. Who am I kidding, if invisibility is real it would be theirs too.

These kind of thoughts stress the light out of my head although I keep telling myself to ignore it. Grow up, woman. You can't fcking think so low about yourself just because they are all so tall and majestic around you. So what if you're a damn weed and they're roses. You have a right in this space. That's why you exist. So what if they don't spare you a second glance. You don't like being the center of attention anyway. Remember your drive? Remember what keeps you going? Keep thinking of them. Whenever you feel like crap remember those.


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