Thursday, October 01, 2015

red moon will haunt you

this reminds me of all of those wolf!au fics I haven't read since forever

Heyya

Confession: I'm slacking.

I'm in the middle of my finals right now. Started last Monday and will end next Tuesday. Three more papers to go then goodbye semester one. One month of break and then hello, new semester, new courses, new lecturemates, new lecturers, new house, new roommate, new housemates, new struggles, new temptation......

The list never ends.

Has it been really the end of this semester? I don't know. I can't tell. I don't keep track of my days in journal or diary or memo or anything. This blog only gets its updates twice a month I think? I know things move and days pass when there are deadlines to meet and plans to anticipate mostly. I don't know if I said this before, but life has felt like a dream to me ever since. Often when I look around, I think that everything is part of my sleeping subconscious and someone (umi) or something (alarm) will wake me up and I will find myself squinting at my phone and internally groan when I realise that it is 6.30 AM and I am seventeen and have to get ready for school. This happens all the time: before I go to bed, when I look in the mirror, when I sit in the lecture hall, when I eat, when I buy something, basically everything.

Well, this I know I said a billion times before: I am really happy here. I've been wanting to escape the school scene since forever. I was unceremoniously choked and swayed by the path that I put upon myself. More like I disliked myself rather than the school. I love school, I love the education, love the little freedom that already felt a lot back then. I just hated the person I became to adapt with the scene.

It is important to teach yourself to be happy, to find the simple, often overlooked things that can actually cheer you up. I do little things that I like, despite what people think of me. I'm happy with what I do, thank you for your concern, I know I can be easily carried away, but I teach myself boundaries too although this part might not be seem very apparent to you. That's okay, sometimes they aren't too apparent to me too and no man is an island either, so keep the concern coming.

This is supposed to be a post summing up this semester not a life guru sort of post because I know the next update will be during the break or worse, next semester. But come to think about it, what is there to write about??

One important thing, I have developed a fondness(?) for lipsticks. I DONT KNOW. No, I do know. I've been liking lip products since I was, idk, ten?? I have always loved the fruity lip balms in white tubes because they smell nice, look cute and make me feel feminine hahaha. Or maybe I've been liking them back when I was barely seven, when I played with umi's lipstick and /unsuccessfully/ lied to save my sorry arse because I don't know how to use water to clean up my mess.

I really want to try red but the colour just scares me when I think of it. I like nudes but scared if the colour tones down everything. I think orange is kinda cute too but what if I look like a jumpy, overly cheerful girl? Ugh. A friend sent me a purple lipstick after our chat about her carrying a punk queen image. I mean it, purple. Purple. When on earth will I use it. But the texture is very niceee like it glides freely on my lips that I just have to sigh in content. Would love to be more adventurous with colours but I have a lot to consider. This and that, this and that, this, and that.

I absolutely go for matte. No gloss no glitter glimmer shine whatever. Of course, with my current status, my current tubes are from drugstores. How will I afford high end products when I still have to maintain a budget every week (sometimes doesn't work but I keep trying). I wish to buy more of the colours from where the purple one belongs to becauseeeee do I still need to explain?

I'm not supposed to write/rant about lipsticks but oh well LOOK AT THE TIME NOW 11.15 PM MY NEXT PAPER IS AT 2.30 PM TOMORROW AND I STILL HAVE TO STUDY TENSES AND PREPOSITIONS AND THE LIKES  LOVE YOU BYE.

xo

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